Too Old or Too Young?

Whenever I join something, I either feel as if I am too young or too old. When will I be in the right position?

Joining tennis camp as a 7th grader in middle school, all the other kids were either seniors in high school or 3rd graders. I did not feel as if I fit into either group, where I told myself: “One day, I will be old enough.”

However, now being in high school, I still do not feel in place. I am once again in the same position I was in when I was in 7th grade, except now people around me are either in middle school or are in college. It is difficult for me to find my own age range, especially when my interests are varied.

I feel uncomfortable because being older than everyone gives me the feeling that I have to be more responsible or knowledgeable than the younger generation. On the other hand, being younger in a group makes me unable to relate to them as much and understand their life, making it harder for me to connect with the group.

How do I fix this? First step is, is there anything to fix? People may be in this situation until they are 80 years old, and who knows? Maybe this is life.

Instead of using the phrase “this is life” to push everything aside, it is significant to understand that it is ok to be in this position. No one is to blame, no one is to feel guilt, and no one is to feel bad. Everyone grows at their own pace, and everyone has their own lives. For example, when I was in art camp, I felt very old compared to my peers. I was embarrassed to be around them because I was older. Yet looking back at photos, I realized that I was only two years older than them. Two years may have seemed like the end of the world for me back in the past, but looking back, the art produced was memorable. Comparing myself to my peers made me not like the camp more, where I should have enjoyed it for its purpose: making art.

Comparing oneself with others is very hard to overcome, and trust me, I understand. To get your mind around it, I suggest to think about the purpose of your activity, of your camp, or of your class. Think about why you signed up or are there, and what benefit could come out of it. Yes, those who are younger may be in the same boat together and you may feel left out, but as long as you come out with the outcome that you strived for in the first place, you can guarantee yourself that you have accomplished your initial goal. And who knows, you may enjoy the presence of those younger than you in the class or listen to what they are saying. Whatever makes you smile, sign up for it.